Mental Game

Okay, this is my very first ever poem. It was written for my Creative writing class, and we were required to use certain words like "Lackadaisical" and "Unerring." I'd actually appreciate feedback on this, as I'm really going to fall on my face with the first half of this class if I don't figure out this poetry thing quickly.

Opponents face one another without delay

quickly saluted niceties start the commotion.

Moving like dancers the players move and sway

lackadaisical lunges invite hasty locomotion,

false attacks elicit flustered parries that betray

a players introspective skill.

One final touche to finish this action,

one has to react when the other goes in for the kill,

stress eviscerating both minds with rancor and frustration.

A shrill cry signals an unerring strike

one player overwhelmed, one sighs with elation

she’d expertly lashed out where he didn’t like

completing the mental game against a poor man called “Mike”


A few specific questions: Does it flow? Does it make sense? Etc.