Aliens and Politics

Working at night, I am given very few options as to what to do on my breaks. Food is usually acceptable and almost expected, someone will have the television on - and we should know what late night T.V. brings, and there is usually a very outdated newspaper somewhere in the room.

I am normally one to steer clear of the news, especially during an election year, but I found two articles somewhat-recently that had me laughing to myself like a crazy person.

The first one is from the Rocky Mountain News on May 2nd, and it has to do with Aliens, politics, and 54 year old virgins – the headline that caught my attention was "Man pushes creation of panel to prepare city for space aliens" and this is a brief summary of the story.

About 5 years ago, Jeff Peckman decided that the city should implement stress-reduction techniques, called the "safety through peace" initiative. He was then, and has since been viewed as a new age nutso. None of the politicians took him seriously, but he managed to nearly meet his goal of signatures to get this plan on an official ballot.

Now, he has decided that people have no idea how to handle an alien invasion. He wants the city to create guidelines and safety protocols in case aliens were to make contact. The quote that had me rolling on the floor was this;

"It is important because if you're driving down the highway and you saw a crash of a small spaceship and a car or a bus full of kids, you really wouldn't know what to do, Do you wait for the hazardous materials experts to show up because of potential contaminants from another solar system? What do you do? People really don't know."

This is about the point the writer points out that Jeff Peckman is 54, single, and lives with his parents. Any takers? Sounds like a winner ladies!

Now, I am somewhat torn on this issue, because as much as it is amazing that we have true crazies living among us, trying to protect us from zom---I mean aliens, this guy is delusional to boot. However, if I see it on the ballot, I will be voting for it. I'm very curious to see what the city would do if they were forced to make a contingency plan for aliens.

Read the full article.
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Now for the 2nd article that had some interesting (humorous) points. I will first take this opportunity to point out I am not revealing my political preferences here. Lets proceed.

Colorado University at Boulder is apparently planning on hiring/adding on several conservative teachers in an attempt to "diversify" the otherwise liberal campus. They are putting down approximately $9mil on this project, and surprise, most people think its a bad idea.

Actually, pretty much everybody except the individual people getting the 9mil seem to think so;

The most vocal criticism so far is coming from the right.
"Like Margaret Mead among the Samoans, they're planning to study conservatives. That's hilarious,"

If you look to your right, you'll notice the offices of our conservatives in their recreated natural habitat - please don't put your fingers through the bars.

Read the full article.

Now imagine me, only feeding the politicians and voting beside aliens.