If You Give a Girl a Motorcycle

For a little over a year, I'd been vaguely planning on learning to ride, purchase, and abuse a Motorcycle. I got my chance a little over 3 months ago; and so far, the trip has been amazing. And now, my introductory post in four parts, on Motorcycles.

Zen and the art of Motorcycle Shopping.

One morning - or afternoon whichever you prefer - around 1pm, I woke up and took a shower with the intention of checking out a place for a few bikes before work, enhancing my ability to make an informed decision about a motorcycle that fits me. I walk through the door, and before I'm even greeted, a slightly older, and relatively rude man points at a knee-high, pastel pink, child's dirt bike, and says: "This is the only bike that is right for you." At which point I proceeded to hit him in the face with a helmet and steal his wallet. Not really, but it sure did sound like a good idea at the time.

When, exactly, is that appropriate? Here I am, having strayed to an environment where I already feel somewhat unwanted and uncomfortable because of my gender and overall appearance, and this guy crosses that, line? I tried my best to brush it off, and get the attention of an employee to start asking questions – but within 30 seconds, out the door I went - without picking up the brochure, and with none of my questions answered.

I did, eventually, find the bike that fit me. It is a burgundy red Suzuki SV650 standard with a custom seat, windshield, and mirrors. Its name is Zed, and will carry me to safety when the zombies arrive.



Gang Signs?

Bikers have more than the standard universal signs for turning, stopping, and merging. There is also the "two finger salute" exclusive between bikers, which is a simple flick of the left wrist, with the first two fingers extended. This action is not intended to notify cars of any movement – but rather as a greeting, "hey, you're like me, lets be two second friends" and to be polite.

What? Bikers have more manners than the elitist driving their SUV? Bikers will be much more civilized with one another than cars, and being female certainly doesn't hurt.

Speaking of civilized, I had a personal encounter with a police officer that did not involve embarrassing lights, sirens, or demands for license and registration. Riding to work during some particularly bad rush hour traffic, a motorcycle cop pulls up next to me, in my lane while at a dead stop, honestly startled me enough I don't think I stopped shaking the entire shift at work – he really seemed to have come out of no where, there was me, and then a solid cement wall, with no shoulder to speak of.

I thought I may have done something wrong, and he was coming up to tell me to pull over after missing his lights – but no, he just pulled up next to me to vent about how bad "Traffic SUCKS!" at which point I responded eloquently with: "auhbow wigzy wallack, roumb." I may have chit-chatted more, but it appeared my translator was broken. It certainly didn't hurt that he was probably one of the more attractive police officers I've ever run into, and I'm not one for the uniform.

Apparel.

Besides the obvious safety value of having decent equipment, here are a variety of reasons why I will never be one of the bikers that gets by with a Harley Davidson tank-top and bandanna.

Reason 1 – Bugs. After the first time I head butted a bee with my helmet, and having to pull over to scrape bug guts off my visor to restore visibility, I would never even imagine riding without a helmet. I have also pulled relatively large miller moths off of my jacket after hitting them at highway speeds, but the miller dust doesn't come off – I'm starting a collection to see if it'll eventually help me fly.

Reason 2 – Sun. While taking my motorcycle safety class my face was sunburned, and I contracted some kind of sun stroke – leaving me exhausted, dehydrated, and sick for 2 days straight. Because of that, I have a white jacket that does its part to reflect the sun while also being completely breathable so 90degrees is no issue, as well as a sun visor for daytime riding to protect my face.

Reason 3 – Debris. I know I've personally been the victim of road debris in my car, hitting the windshield hard enough to crack solid glass. Skin isn't that tough, and that debris doesn't go away simply because you take up less space. I have a few scrapes in my helmet, as well as a few pulled threads out of my jeans because of something as simple as pebbles targeting you at ridiculous speeds.

Reason 4 – Brightness. I chose my equipment partially because of practical application, approved helmet, gloves, and ballistics mesh jacket which will almost stop bullets in case I were to ever fall and skid for any reason – but also because of the brightness. My jacket, gloves, and helmet, are black and white, with at least some reflective material. White and reflective so I am visible at night, and black so I'm not washed out during the day.


After purchasing my equipment, I still had a week to wait for my bike - needless to say I was a bit anxious.

The crazies.

And now I'll hopefully leave you with a few amusing mental images of people.

The first one, was after a long line of bikers throwing me the two finger salute, as I was just figuring out what that was. An older biker was headed the opposite direction, topless and hosting the physique of Kieth Richards. As I passed this gentleman, he throws his left hand straight up, signaling "METAL" in the air while shouting "Thats what I'm talkin' 'bout!" at me. I think I laughed the rest of the way to Boulder.

The second was a middle-aged African-American business woman wearing a nice suit, in a very nice green sedan, who was stopped at an intersection I was about to pass. As I went past her, she threw both of her hands forward, and did an awesome dance in her car while shouting "Yea, GIRL!" at me, leaving me grinning for at least making that womans day.

Now imagine me, only taming motorcycles, and learning to fly using moth dust.