Dos and Don'ts for Soul Calibur 5

Seeing as video game sequels don't seem to be going away anytime soon - while at the same time reviewing Soul Calibur 4,I have a few suggestions for its inevitable sequel.

Don't use Star Wars characters. This was, by far, the worst overshadowing of guest artists I've ever seen in a game. As characters were announced pre-release, it seemed like every headline included; “AND YODA!” or “AND VADER!” instead of the proper recognition of artists who contributed their own unique characters to the game.

Do keep the shield break gauge. Useful against those individuals (that use Maxi) who will guard until your fingers cramp up, so they can then retaliate when you're good and crippled.

Don't bother with storyline. Seriously, the story is about as interesting and profound as that of a Cinimax porno. I don't particularly care why we're here, fighting each other - Just get on with the abuse already!

Do continue to animate terrible grab moves. In Soul Calibur 2 (Gamecube version,) Link had a fun grab where he'd mount an enemies shoulders, then swing his sword like he's riding them. This time you get Yoda doing a front flip on an enemies chest, where it appears he lands - well, like this:


Most insulting smash ever...

Don't allow online players to use the same character consecutively - lock each character after it's used. This way, those that perfect one character and all their special moves are forced to change it up a bit. Once they've perfected them all, hopefully they've moved on, or at least taken a shower.

Do keep split screen. Elbowing a button mashing friend in the back of the head is the best way to sleep at night after getting frustrated enough to throw a $50 controller. So much of that friendly contact is lost in online gameplay.

Don't include characters from games that haven't been released yet. I feel having “The Apprentice” from Force Unleashed as a (cheap) Playable character will change that experience, and he hasn't even hit his own spotlight yet.

Do keep the character creation mode. So far, this is the part of the game I have invested the most time in. I've created my own fencing character, a few failed creations using Ivy's sword-whip, and other hideous random things at 5am or later. There are some interesting options, and I use the word "interesting" lightly.

Though, as you can see, costume options are a bit limited, leaving my Wicked Witch feeling somewhat incomplete. So add a few costume options, and we're good to go.




Customized weapons would be cool, too.

Don't skimp on the alternate play modes. Beating the crap out of things is fine, but wouldn't some Tekken Bowling spice things up? Or how about some Stadium action from Smash Bros.? They really couldn't come up with anything but variations on ladder modes?

Do continue to have alternate weapons for each character. Not that I was worried about this, but it sure does make me happy to have variety in my weapon choices. Though, I will say the costume choices need a bit of...improving. Please stop putting Taki in that hideous red thing.

Bring back weapon test videos. I almost felt like I could learn the art of fencing by watching Raphael show off his sweet moves - though it turned out I needed classes anyway, it was still cool to watch. Or maybe, I'm the only one that watched them. Either way, I'd like to see my custom characters showing off whatever weapon they happen to be wielding.

Now, imagine me, only wielding an axe at least four times my size and swinging it with ease.