Number 1; Feeding times. I can eat peanut butter straight out of the jar if I so choose, I can eat ice-cream straight out of the container, I can toast my hot-dog bun on the burner of my stove, which mothers tend to frown on. Now, don't worry for anyone coming over--
A) I don't keep Ice-cream in the freezer anyway, so I wont be eating out of the container.
B) I probably won't be serving you anything with Peanut butter on it, and I have a knife anyway. (and I guess C would be that I won't be burning your hotdog bun on my burner?)
Number 2; Curfew. If I want to get home at 4am and start playing video games with surround sound on, I can. If anyone feels the need to come over and crash for no reason whatsoever, they can. If the cat wants to go bat-shit at 2am and gallop over furniture, that's okay too. Point is, no one tells me where to be at what time.
Number 3; Nudity. If I so choose, I can walk around buck-naked for no reason whatsoever. Play video games with no pants on, run around in bra and underwear if it gets entirely too hot. Now don't think you learned some deep, dark, perverted secret about me; I'm being hypothetical...and it does get really hot here in the summer.
Number 4; Animals. For my entire life, I've always had to ask if I can have an animal--and the answer was usually no. I had to BEG and bargain with my mother for MONTHS before I got a snake. However, one time...or maybe two times, I decided I wanted a kitten from a lovely friend who knows people giving them away. I had no permission, I need no permission, and I now have a wonderfully insane cat named Dax sitting on my television. If I want to adopt a gopher next month, I can, and I would name him Hubert, and no one could complain.
Number 5; Decoration. I have a lot of stuff, and I mean…a LOT of stuff. I have toys you wouldn't believe, legos, video games, weaponry, and posters. During the dreary high school years, I had to hide all of it in my bedroom. Now, I can put Spiderman on the ceiling of my kitchen if I so choose, or move my zombie posters into the living room - or dig out all of my toys to display on my bookshelves. Sure its immature, but its MINE, and that's what's important.
Number 6; Sleep. Probably the least important on my list, but I still need to add it. I can fall asleep wherever I want. I fall asleep in my chair, and on the couch, and even on the floor. I can curl up with the cat in front of the TV with a lovely storm going and fall asleep for hours and not even think about it, it's a beautiful, thing. Who needs a bed, anyway?
Hopefully that was somewhat amusing anyway, it was actually written a long time ago - but I feel like I've been neglecting you guys for too long.
Now imagine me, only digging through an old ceder chest for old tidbits to share.
5 comments:
glad to see you're back posting
And then you get married and your spouse makes you move all your toys into the office :(
@ Heath,
I guess that's where being a girl into these things helps, since I'm supposed to be the gender in that equation policing toys and posters, but I certainly won't be!
Late to the party again. This is hilarious, and yet so true. My place has no pictures hanging that could be knocked off the wall; no expensive vases or anything sitting around to be knocked over by the cats (of which there are 3), and yes, walking around clothing-optional is quite comfy.
Living with other people is pure hell. They always get it in their head to tell you wjat to do. You have no freedom with a roomate they become your cellmate! Living by yourself is 1 of the true free things anyone will ever have and I detest those who cant stand to be alone.
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